@werthecollective on instagram, you should follow me.
@werthecollective on instagram, you should follow me.
I must say, the past couple of months have been great. Finishing school, still have a job and still have great friends. I am not happy though, and theres something that seems to be keeping me coasting along.
Part of it is the fact that I have I’m not really sure what i want to do yet. I studied architecture, but I love art. I also love music, making it producing it, and i’m fairly good at all three of these things.
The past couple of months, starting from my birthday on january 31st have been sort of a personal self discovery period. Ive lost over 40 lbs, and i can say I am in the best shape of my life. I have more options now than i ever had in my life. Took me about 23 years to finally look in the mirror and say hey, i look pretty damn good.
All these things are related. I’m learning how to appreciate my own work, and talents, and theres nothing more than i want than to produce good work that is appreciated. My art is really all i’ve had sense the beginning, drawing in my sketchbook while my friends would go and play, and now drawing in my sketchbook as the homeless person sleeps on the train. I look and wish that it would tell me something, tell me what to do. I would trust my sketchbook over anybody for advice.
As i’m figuring “life” out, I will continue to post a drawing a day. For real this time though.
So, I graduated. And now i’m currently in that weird spot in my life where i have to start doing something important, or “Get A Real Job” , most people can hear echoing in their heads. So heres my idea.
Getting to that Real Job, or discovering what i really want to do with my life, is a process. I want to show that process, and post it online.
The question is what do i want to do? Well heres what i can do, and what i love.
I love art. I’ve been a practicing artist for sense 3rd grade, and continued Drawing, Painting and Schulpting to this day. I studied architecture, and spent the last 5 years Designing, Drawing, Building, etc in 3 dimensions of space. I also am a self taught musician, and Love making music. So thats 3 things, I want to find a way to combine them into one experience.
So how do i do that?
Well currently, I do each thing individually. I compose a track, keep it on my laptop. I sketch something, keep it in my sketchbook. Create a painting, give it away. Without really sharing what that process is about. Theres nothing else i love more than process.
So thats what I’m going to begin doing. I’m going to Create, Record, and share that process of discovering what I can really do, and how to combine Music, Art, and Architecture into one unique experience that i can truly call my own. I’m a little excited about this.
This song is fitting for the mood i felt in the city today. Rain creates an effect over the city that causes it to sometimes slow down, shadows seem darker, gusts of wind blow longer. We don’t walk, we march to a slow pace, rain forcing us to change the direction of which we were going. Temperature taking the forground in what what almost otherwise be a pulse pounding day.
Yet theres still that pulse, that heartbeat that continues to drum throughout every New Yorker. On the train on the street, we all march to the same drum beat, with different highs and lows, but the rhythm is constant. We all wake up and slowly march towards that goal, whether it be home or work, food or drug. Sometimes it feels as if on track, on order, yet there is still this beautiful chaos that we’ve come to embrace.
Than theres times where I stop. When I stop, I create. I would like to think that my creations come from this pulse, from this march. My creation’s are me simply trying to figure it all out. I look back at the finished work and realize that it poses even more questions, and thats where i continue, to march.
I’ve come the realization that im pretty lazy. Not lazy in a coach potato kind of a way, but lazy in a “im not willing to work just for money” kind of way. When i have free time, i’m usually working on one of my personal projects, be that music, or art or photography, but when it comes to my current job, one that i must say is not that bad, im not really willing to devote that much time into it. I changed my mindset on that a little bit, because I realized that, in order to continue to follow my passion, which is slightly still scattered all over the art spectrum, i must somehow finance it.
The only way to finance that passion is through this job that i recently started devoting more time to. BUt is the bottom line the paycheck? I have no concept of money, i don’t personally value it as an item but i do value the paths money can give me. The options it can give me. In the Fountainhead one of the characters called this “tools of dreams” , Instrument or a painting aisle. Tools of dreams is a good name for what i mean. In order to develop ourselves in what we’re passionate about, we need those tools.
Depending on what your passion is, these things can either be cheap or expensive, but in almost any field, the better the quality, the more expensive that dream tools going to be. So i’m currently sacrificing some of my “dream time” for some work time, and trying settle into this 40-50 hour work week, which feels a bit different from the 15-20 hour work week i was used to.
Tools of Dreams. Guitar’s, Computers, New Running shoes, Drawing boards. That new laptop you bought so you could write not only at home but, anywhere, to finish that book you know you have in you. For me its audio equipment, last year it was a drafting table, maybe next year it’ll be a camera who knows. Who made the most money during the california gold rush? The person selling the shovel’s.
Along with the tools, you also need the passion. Passion seems to supersede talent, but having a passion for something is rare. ITs hard to fully devote yourself to one thing, and cancel everything else out. To love the process and not the outcome, to love the work and now the response. I think thats where i want to be. Hopefully i’ll reach a point where my dream will support itself. Think thats where we all want to be.